Why Do Parents Abuse Their Children?
Different parents follow different ideologies to discipline their children, however there are some parents who resort to brute force to bring their children to line. This kind of treatment brings forth all kinds of problems in the children’s personalities, and most of the time the parents know this. So the question that arises is this: despite knowing the ill-effects of hitting kids, why do parents abuse their children?
There can be a number of reasons why a parent thinks it necessary to hit his/her children. It can be a psychological reason or an emotional trauma that is causing the parent to lash out on their children. Whatever, the reason be, one must bear in mind that the abusing of children is not limited to families of a certain class or type or socio-economic standing. This problem can creep into the household of absolutely any kind of family.
History of parent
One of the many reasons why parents abuse their children is due to some incident that has happened in their past, which they have not yet been able to forget. Some sort of traumatic history can lead to post traumatic stress disorder, which can in turn lead to random bursts of anger and venting that out on the children. For instance, if the parent had been in an abusive relationship with a partner in the past, that kind of experience is bound to leave a mark on them, and this kind of trauma ultimately shows its ugly face when the parent has a child of their own.
Another thing to look into is the parent’s own childhood. There is a strong possibility that the parent himself/herself was abused as a child by some member of the family. It can even be as bad as molestation or rape, which they were forced to hide from others out of shame or fear. This kind of deeply embedded fear is certain to come out at a later time, and most often than not, it is their children who suffer the backlash of their traumatic childhood.
The best way to close the gap between parent and child when the parent’s background is at fault is to attend therapy together. The parent needs to close their past permanently and embrace their future, and open their eyes to the brutality they were subjecting their children to. The children need to openly talk to their parents and try to show them where they were wrong and how their treatment was hurtful. Once the gap between them is diminished, a lot of the problems will also disappear.
Why do parents abuse their children- Unrealistic ideas
Parenting is a hard thing and some people just jump right into it without giving much thought to the consequences, so that when the real baby arrives in the scene, they freak out. Upon realizing the amount of work and effort they have to put into their child, and the fact that they cannot back out of the responsibility anymore without facing backlash, they start misbehaving with their children and subject them to abuse to give them a taste of their own agitation. This is especially true in the case of teenage pregnancy and teen parenting.
Statistics show that parents who have disabled children are more likely to abuse their children than others. This again comes down to the same fact of unrealistic expectations. The extra amount of care and attention that needs to be given to the handicapped children gets to their nerves, leading them to raise their hand on their children.
Why do parents abuse their children- Drug and alcohol problems
It has been found that substance abuse of any sort in the parent is the leading cause of child abuse. When parents suffer from drug and alcohol related problems, their brain is hardly clear enough to see right from wrong, and the only way for them to take out their frustration is to abuse someone over whom they have some authority, and most of the time it is their children. Drugs and alcohol also make a person more violent than usual, which of course, leads to a greater risk for children at home.
Why do parents abuse their children- No support from friends and family
We all know that parenting is difficult, especially for new parents, and they can use all the help they get from family and friends. So when they find no support from their loved ones, they start to think of their children as a burden to their existence. They start to hate them and curse them, and next thing you know, their children begin to bear the wrath of their anger and frustration.
Parents who abuse their children due to building tension and lack of support from the family should know that there is always help available for those who need it. There are child-care centers available everywhere where they can drop off their child whenever they feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities. These centers take good care of children, so they don’t have to worry about a thing.
Why do parents abuse their children- Emotional problems
Parents who abuse their children are often found to have underlying mental problems and emotional disorders, like depression, anxiety disorder, paranoia and panic attacks. People who suffer from mental disorders are hardly ever able to take care of themselves, let alone a child. So the best thing they can think of doing is to abuse their child to let the pressure off their chest. They are quick to withdraw from their children during emotional distress, and are more violent than other parents. Treatment of their problems will definitely bring some relief to the relationship between parents and children.
Hope it gave you an insight of why do parents abuse their children!